Humor

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Sew What?!

The other day I found a fabulous blog called Ruffles and Stuff.  Disney, the author of the blog (I know, awesome name!) is such an inspirational woman!  She can make almost anything out of almost nothing, and she makes it look so easy!  I know that this entire blog is about becoming a more well rounded woman, and while I see so many things that are inspire me, there only a few things that make me want to get right to work recreating them.  Her blog is one of those things.  She has a great way of making things look so feminine and expensive with stuff she usually has lying around. It’s amazing!  I am really excited because I have already contacted Disney and she has agreed to allow me to use her for an upcoming {Blog Feature}.   But in the mean time, I just had to try one of her projects.  One of her most recent ventures was converting her little girl’s tights into knee socks.  Once she had done that, she had several leftover “tight tops” that she just had to do something with.  So, being the brilliant mind that she is, she turned them into bubble skirts for her little girl.  Can I just say AH-Some!

 

Her is one of the adorable skirts she made!  She went on to say, in her own words, that the skirts are “actually very easy!’ 

I have a 2 year old little girl, well, actually she will be 2 tomorrow, and she made these little skirts for her 2 year old, so the project just called to me.  My little girl’s 0-6 month tights, that for some reason I keep around,were begging to be transformed into an adorable little skirt, and since the skirts were “very easy” I figured I had nothing to lose. 

I guess this would be a good time for my giant disclaimer:

DISCLAIMER:  I am not a seamstress!  I own a sewing machine which resides in my basement 364 days a year.  I have attempted to make 3 things with my sewing machine in it’s  long life including a set of Christmas Stockings which brought my own mother to tears with laughter!

I took myself on over to walmart to pick up some fabric.  I decided on some silky looking pink stuff.  It was $1.50 a yard.  I used less than half of it so the whole project cost me less than $0.75 because the tights had been purchased 2 years ago (so they don’t count).

(Take note of my professional supplies!)

Then my project began.  I followed Disney’s instructions step-by-step.  Here is a word to the wise, if  you have to google “gathering stitch,” you just might not be ready to do one!  I worked on that darn gathering stitch for at least an hour!  After tugging and tugging with no gathering what-so-ever, I realized that I wasn’t supposed to pull the top and bottom strings at the same time.  Then, once I figured out which string to pull, I would get halfway through the gathering process and the thread would snap.  Bringing me to my next word to the wise, when attempting any project that requires a gathering stitch, don’t use discount thread that has been sitting in your basement for 10 years.  I ended up with this: 

Notice my lovely straight lines which echos my sewing precision!  I don’t know why I didn’t take a picture of it, but I ended up with two more lines of stitches.  I know, bless my heart!

Once I finally got the gathering thing down, I continued on to the next steps, sewing the tops together and repeating with the bottom.  However, when I finished with the bottom, I ended up with this:

It was sewn completely inside out without any vision of the pretty side of the fabric.  At that point, I called my mom in defeat.  She suggested that I simply unpick a small section of the bottom and turn the skirt right side out.  I was thrilled that I didn’t have to unpick the entire thing. Once I had followed through with her suggestion, I ended up with this:

A beautiful fabric donut resembling nothing skirt-like.  At that point I nearly quit, but I hate to cower in defeat, so I pressed on.  I did unpick the entire bottom of the skirt and tried again, and I got this:

No!  Not the belly button. . . the asymmetrical looking skirt!

I then decided to take it a step further and make some little lovelies to try to cover up some of my mistakes, and finally, the end result. . . . . .

 

So in the end, was it worth it?  For $0.75 I say, Heck Yeah!  And yes mother, I did iron the fabric before sewing it, the poor thing went through a lot to get where it is!

For a full (and professional) tutorial for this project, click here!

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In our quest to become more well rounded, many of us have set the goal to become more “well read.”   Well, I have ran into a site which certainly will not help us in that quest!  It will however, showcase all of the wonderful (sarcasm intended) pieces of literature available in our public library system.  This fits perfectly with Well Rounded Women because, for me, they opened my eyes to a source of humor and delight that I didn’t know existed.  And not only that, aside from the humor and delight, they have an important quest they are pursuing, their goal is to emphasize how important it is to keep our library collections up-to-date.   Trust me, once you pay them a visit, you will have a hard time leaving.  Besides, who’s to say that blog reading isn’t a talent? 

I have had the pleasure of corresponding with Holly, one of the awful librarians, and she has been sweet enough to take the time to share a little more about her blog with us.  So here it is, courtesy of Holly, straight off the reference desk somewhere in Michigan:

Awful Library Books (www.awfullibrarybooks.info) is a collection of “awful” titles found on the shelves in anonymous libraries around the world.  Authors Holly Hibner and Mary Kelly comment on what makes each title such a poor choice for the type of library it is held by.  No actual libraries are named – the goal of the web site is to have a few laughs and encourage people to think about library collection quality, not to “out” those whose collections hold these questionable items. 

Holly and Mary shared a desk for over ten years in a public library in Michigan, and over the course of that decade some funny, obscure, and esoteric titles crossed their paths for one reason or another.  It was like a game to see who could find the most awful library book. When they presented at a library conference on the topic of collection quality, they decided to use some of these titles to make their point that libraries need to be aware of what is on their shelves and how that affects their relevancy.  They posted the titles in blog form, which proved to be popular with librarians and lay-people alike!  Now they get several submissions each day, from around the world. 

Holly and Mary are quick to point out that there are no awful books, but there are certainly awful library books.  They love old books, and they celebrate the time in history when those books were relevant.  However, when patrons find old books on library shelves, they often assume that is the best the library has to offer.  The library then looks irrelevant and unhelpful.  Libraries of all kinds need to be sure that their collections are up-to-date and helpfully serve their users.  There is a place for old books where people can enjoy them: special collections, displays, museums, archives, and maybe even state libraries. 

In November 2009, Holly and Mary were guests on the Jimmy Kimmel Live show to talk about Awful Library Books.  The segment can be seen online at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxQvm2oLewU. It was great fun and a once-in-a-lifetime experience to talk about libraries and funny books on national TV! 

In late December, Holly and Mary plan to post a “Best of the Worst” list of their favorite titles of 2009.  Submissions from all kinds of libraries are welcome at awfullibrarybooks@gmail.com.  Follow Awful Library Books on Facebook and Twitter, too! 

Holly also told me I could feature a post from their site, this post was titled “Satan For Kids”  I almost died in disbelief!

 

satancover

 

Don’t Make Me Go Back, Mommy: A child’s book about satanic ritual abuse
Sanford & Evans
1990

Submitter: “I give thee the most awful library book ever. Seriously. I found this little gem a few years ago doing a project for a young adult class and ILL-ed it from [a seminary!] … but 89 libraries have it in WorldCat, mostly public! Not only is the subject horrible, but the storyline is jumbled, and the pictures are cheeeeeesey colored pencil.”

Holly:  This is unbelievable. There is truly a book for every subject, isn’t there? Well, if your community has a problem with satanic rituals, this might be a great choice for your children’s section. Can you imagine a child stumbling upon this: “Mommy, I want THIS one!” Story time on the dark side.

Here are a couple of sample pages:

mommy don't make me go backthere2

Oh, I wish I could post more pages. Truly unbelievable. Crying, naked children standing in the woods in a circle being told that nothing can be told outside the circle and that their parents have given them to the hooded people…I may have nightmares from this one. Are you supposed to read this to traumatized children after they’ve been part of a satanic ritual? It’s not comforting!

Mary:  I couldn’t believe this was published let alone in a bunch of public library collections.  Did someone say in a collection development meeting ”hey we need some kiddie books on satanic ritual abuse”?  This is the scariest book I have ever seen.  Librarians, please fill me in if you know anything about this book or topic.   I am utterly speechless!

Thanks Holly!

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